I was talking with a friend last night about my latest dream of moving to Brooklyn, NY. I said, "you know, I'd like to go up there and try. If I fail, I have friends and family who will still love me". My friend then mentioned how he had been thinking about failure during the last week. "You know," he said, "there's not much I've failed at in my life, that I've gotten back up and tried again". He felt bad about this. You should also know, my friend has a great job and I consider him to be an amazing person. I agreed, though. I also feel, that in my short life I've set myself up to succeed. If I fail, I move on to something I can accomplish. I've mastered taking the "safe" way out.
I'm starting to think that failure is not failure at all, but the path to success. I don't mean the typical definition of success. What if success meant reaching your potential, by investing in the gifts granted to you from birth, rather than burying them? Maybe through failure you come closer to understanding what those gifts are? Perhaps, that is why there is so much to learn from our elders? They have time and experience under their belts, which nurtures wisdom.
Lately, I wonder, how could fail more? I also wonder, where am I burying my head in the sand? Where can I take a risk?
Realize, I don't mean life threatening stuff. I mean the everyday risks... Speaking up for something I care for when no one else will, confessing, approaching friends about hard to bring up topics, dreaming about the future, traveling, talking to someone I don't know, trying a new hobby, writing a blog, and the list could go on.
When have I let fear of failure prevent me from speaking, acting, doing, making, traveling, loving, listening, trying, investing, jumping?
You, Me and Everyone In Between have a choice.
I end with a cliche.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference
...Robert Frost
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3 comments:
DJ-
Sweet blog, glad to see things are going well for you. You should check out In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day. Its a book all about chasing your dreams and not being afraid of failing...very relevant.
Peace :)
Jennie
DJ, I don't think you can actually fail at anything in life. I mean, yes you can fail a test and such, but I don't think it's possible to fail at anything real. Who determines the meanings of success and failure anyways?
When I think about stuff, such as a trip to Brooklyn per se, I feel like I'm ultimately asking myself if that's where I should be. Before I do something, I tend to pray about it and think and ask God, "Should I be here?" or "Should I be doing this?" Sometimes I can figure out the answer before hand - successful pursuit of the truth. Sometimes it takes me 3 years into it - still a successful pursuit. Just because it may not turn out the way I had wanted it to doesn't make it a failure. It just means that there's something else out there and I've got to keep seeking. And when you look back on any "failure," it's amazing the lessons learned, friends made, and love shared. How can that be failing by any means?
Now, I understand about the "safe" path and taking risks. And, that all makes sense, too. But, if you're truly seeking and living, risks are just a part. I'm not sure how I feel about the idea of seeking them out in any different way. I'll ponder that some more - along with the family stuff at the beginning.
I have just been thinking a lot about that, too. I just got accepted into the nursing program I wanted. And even before I got the letter I knew I got in where I wanted because I always get in wherever I apply, I get any job I apply for, I barely study at times and never fail a test. I just half on a whim decided to up and leave La Roche, get a real job, and start a new major at a new school - and it all worked out. And, I don't understand it. I kind of wanted to get declined so that I could feel what it feels like.
But, then I looked back on all of that and wondered if that's really what success is. Shouldn't success feel so much better? And the answer is YES! Yes, success may be all of those things, but it's more. Success is love and fellowship and knowing you tried. Success is being one step closer to finding that something more bc you know one thing it's not. Success is just being able to live. By many standards, I'm not a failure. But, at the end of the day, when I think about the really important things, I wonder.
I agree amy, I also don't think failure actually exist. I think the world tricks us into thinking it does. Sorry, I didn't articulate exactly what I was actually thinking.
I think risks find us, we don't find them. We have a choice to take them.
In my heart I want to be back in Pittsburgh. However, I feel also as if there are a few step in between me and PGH. My heart is also pulling me toward NYC or Cali. I now have a choice. I can choose to pursue this heart feeling or I can choose not to and see what happens. I feel fear in anticipating my choice to pursue my heart. Most of all I think I fear the work involved in pursuing a career in Cali or NYC. They don't know me, I don't know them. In fact, I don't know that many people at all in either place. They may reject me? But, for some reason the lord has placed these places on my heart. Who knows if I am supposed to go there or not? Maybe I should trust him and go with it. Ultimately, he'll reroute me if he needs to.
You're not a failure. If failure does exist, it's when you fail to follow your heart. My uncle told me a few nights ago, "when you don't listen to your heart, you miss a chance of receiving a blessing." Amy, you don't strike as someone who doesn't follow your heart.
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