Have I learned anything this year?

Last night [Tuesday 20 May 2008] was the graduation celebration of the intern year. Can you believe it? I'm done! I survived nine months of rigorous manhood training in the name of Jesus. At some point I'd like to review my blog and read my thoughts throughout the year. I've been fortunate to have experienced a number of awesome things. I've been to NYC and back on only four dollars. I've designed in both NYC and Palestine! I've traveled through the night from Kansas City to Washington and was greeted by a spectacular sunrise in the Shenandoah Mountains of Virginia. I've climbed to the top of many mountains on different continents. I've pulled a tick from my arm pit. With seven other guys I was in my first real car accident on the state line of Missouri and Kansas. A few weeks later I caused my first accident and blamed it on the guy in the back seat who passed terrible gas. Ohhh there have been many experiences this year. Not even a blog could contain all of them! I truly experienced You, Me and everyone in between. From the President of the USA (Well, I heard him speak), to refugees in Bethlehem, to my very own family and friends back home. This year would not be this year if it were not for everyone in between.

Now I ask myself, "What the heck have I learned"? Since most of you could not attend the graduation, I figured I'd share a piece with you. Each of the interns were asked to answer this question. I will share my response with you.

I decided to take a different route then I would have usually taken. Normally I would of come up with a normal speech collecting some of my thoughts on the year. However, my experience in Palestine weighed on my heart. I completely burnt out while in Palestine. I exhausted myself. During that time I began to discover more of who I am. It was a humbling state for me. Normally, I am a people pleaser, not so during a burn out. I also realized that throughout the internship and the latest portions of my life, I've been trying to achieve perfection. For those of you who don't know, this is impossible. This mentality reflected my outlook on myself and expectations of others. What I finally concluded was, we are imperfect and due to that reality we have to live with ourselves in both our weaknesses and strengths. I would be fool to think I can live only in my strengths. As I found out in Palestine, our weaknesses eventually catch up to us. So what's the solution? Well, for me it's been tough. I've found that I need to be honest with myself most importantly. In regard to my relationship with God, I also need to be honest. I've begun to honestly turn my weaknesses or sin over to God. I've also accepted that I don't always believe. By turning that over to God, that's helped my unbelief. I think as religious people in general, whether Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu etc... it's easy to focus on what's great in our lives. We make rules that prevent us from sinning. So when we do sin it's look down upon. There's a tendency to stair away from the struggles in life. When in reality, in faith that is where we need to be truthful and accepting. I don't want to hide my weaknesses. I recognize that you definitely have weaknesses, as do I. Why not help each other out? I've found freedom during the past two weeks just by being honest with myself, others and God. Why does any of this matter? Well, I have to live with myself for the next who knows how many years. In preparing for the rest of my life I came up with a set of statements I would like to follow. I wrote the list as I sat, burnt out, on top of the roof of my home in Palestine. This list has become the "What did I learn this year list".

Remember these are for me. I will most likely fail to follow them. I'd like to try though.

1. Please learn how to accept exactly who you are... A sinner. Do not hide that. As Jesus said, hide you the good that you do. Humble yourself by knowing your weak.

2. Please learn about one's feelings before judging them. Just ask and do not delay.

3. Please take time from your day to be by yourself. Whether extrovert of introvert, we need time to ourself to reflect and energize. Even the Lord went to the mountain to be by himself.

4. Please love people more than you love your doctrine or religion. Jesus' greatest commandment.

5. Please do not concentrate on making others love you. Concentrate on loving others.

6. Please do not concentrate on pleasing others. You will lie. Please do not lie.

7. Please remember that nothing of yours you own. God has gifted you with your wealth and accomplishments. Please share them freely and frequently.

8. Please visit the mountains often. You will witness God.

9. Please travel often. Remember that it is the people and nature that are the most important tourist attraction.

10. Please talk to people who are wiser than you are. Talk to your elders and find mentors.

11. Please remember that you don't win an argument. You resolve a problem and build unity. With a mentality of winning and losing, no one wins.

12. Please play Soccer.

13. Please spend time with people who make sacrifices. The poor, refugees, the oppressed. Please learn how to make sacrifices in your like. Learn how to take risks. You'll learn more about god during these times then any other time.

14. Please laugh, especially at yourself.

15. Please do not regret. The only regret that I have is that I regret.

16. Please encourage your brothers and sisters in their pursuits.

17. Please remember that you become great by becoming humble. Don't try to be great by being humble. Let it happen, don't force it. Please listen to others who you trust.

18. Please spend time with children.

19. Please remember to smile. It is universally recognized, so is the frown.

20. Please never try to be the leader.